Its Quiet and I'm Thinkin'......

Chris will be home in a few hours. He's been gone for 11 days to Italy, Paris, and Spain. Yea, I know I feel sorry for him too. He's been working hard....no really, he works hard. :)
I think I may have said to you before that when he goes on these long trips I put on my "Game face". Which basically just means that no matter what I won't fall apart until its all over. I've kept myself busy hoping that time would go be fast. Usually after about 5 days I am ready to go jump in a dark hole where its quiet and no one is saying, "Momma". It has to be one of the most loved and hated words in the world. Lukas likes to save it for a quiet moment in the car when he wants me to give him a smile. Sometimes I think it is the only word Bryant knows. Especially when he is wanting me to get him something or do something for him. I wish I could say that even after 11 days I am generally in a great mood, but the truth is that I am
S-P-E-N-T.

S- Short on Patience
P- Positively Pooped
E- Entirely too Pooped to care
N- Not so nice
T- Totally Thankful that I have a husband and don't usually do this job alone.

And to end it all the Gamecocks lost to Georgia.
So here's how my 11 days has been like a Gamecock Football Game.
I've had lots of time to prepare for the game. I've got my "Game face" on and we're off to a great start by scoring early in the game (going to Toys 'R Us with 2 kids and not feeling like I should've left them in the car). I feel strong and confident and then comes the dropped pass (something like a momentary loss of patience). Then I begin to think that I may never score again or recover from the frustration of dropping the pass. But then a new opportunity presents itself and I feel a moment of redemption may be possible. I try really hard and though part of my team is doing their job the other part is failing miserably (I have a teachable moment with one of the kids, you know, like the chance to teach them something really profound, and the other kids is swinging from the stair rail). This analogy could go on for a long time, but to end our misery this is how it all ends. After the game my "Game face" comes off and I will probably cry for a good 5 minutes just to relieve some frustration, but by Monday I will have forgiven myself and the Gamecocks for the missed passes (missed opportunities) , the penalties (opportunities gone wrong), and just plain out bad play calls (momentary loss of sanity). I will also give myself and the Gamecocks a little compassion because we played hard, no one got hurt, and just because sometimes when we blow it we are our own worst critics.
So here's to the never ending hope that tomorrow I will get it right and the Gamecocks will win more games than they've lost.
GO MOM and GO COCKS!!!!

Slow Me Down

For some reason life has gotten away with me. I know its been six months since my last post, but it feels like only 2 months. :)
I thought I'd give you a quick run down of what has been going on here in the last few months:
1. Lukas turned 1 year old, (now he is almost 18 months old)
2. Bryant turned 3 years old
3. Lukas got tubes in his ears (After a year long fight with more ear
infections than I can count, we got tubes and I LOVE THEM.)
4. Bryant started 3 year old pre-school and loves it. He only goes 3 days
a week, but wants to go every morning.
I've been so busy it seems like I should have more to account for 6 months. But apparently I've just been too busy to know what's goin' on. HA HA!

I promise to write something more profound later, but I wanted to at least send out some updated pictures.
I love you all,
Tiff

Still Here; Now a year older!

Today I am 32 years and 2 days old. On March 4th I became another year older and hopefully another year wiser. I still think its sad that at 32 I haven't figured out how to do it all right, HA HA. But, I heard a good lesson this year that has really stuck with me and I have decided it will be my theme for this year of my life. So here it is ....the condensed version.

We spend so much time trying to improve on our weaknesses that we never get to enjoy the areas of our lives where we are gifted. I do believe that there is a certain level of accountability that we must have in areas of our lives; like being able to balance our checkbook. But the truth is that may not be my gift. I do, with all that is within me, want to pursue excellence in my life no matter what I do. However, the truth is that I will NEVER probably be excellent at cooking or making money decisions, but I AM organized and love to finish an organization project. I do love to decorate and enjoy making my home look beautiful. I do take excellent care of my kids and love to help them succeed. And I hope that Chris would tell you I am a better wife everyday.

I have, in the past, focused so much on what I didn't like about myself or the one thing that I wasn't very good at and trying to make that one thing better or do that one thing perfectly that I forgot to enjoy what it is about myself that I do like and what it is that I do with excellence. Finding the time to do that is often few and far between, but this thirty second year of my life I am determined to find in myself the things I do well and do them more often.

Lukas will be 1 year old on Easter. He loves to snuggle with his mommy in the mornings. Which makes mommy very happy. His favorite thing to do is play outside with is big brother Bryant. Lukas loves when Bryant plays with him.Lukas will laugh and scream with excitement. Though most of the time Bryant just aggravates Lukas till he gets mad and cries :)


Bryant is into drawing and making up words. He makes up a word and then wants you to make one up too. Then he wants you to laugh very loud about how funny those new words are. From Bryant's early days I knew he was going to be my little lover. And with everyday that passes he confirms that notion. He loves to be with people and loves to wants to hug you at least once before you leave and most of the time a kiss comes with the hug.
So for now the Burns family is:

1. Very excited that Spring in on the way and we can play outside;
2. Preparing for a trip to Europe at the end of March....just me, Chris, Mark and Kathy (Mark works with Chris and Kathy is his wife)
3. Preparing for Lukas' first birthday party
4. Missing you all!!!!

Holidays Here and Gone

I know its been awhile. I think around this time every year I get a little overwhelmed and the blog is the last on the list of things to do. And don't worry I won't bore you with the details. We spent Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with Chris' family. Bryant had a great time opening all his presents and learning all about "Baby Jesus". He can tell you who's birthday is on Christmas, that Jesus' mommy is Mary and his daddy is Joseph. It was so much fun to share Christmas with him is year.

Lukas is the sweetest little man. Despite several ear infections, a runny nose , two new teeth, and a brother who loves to aggravate him, he loves to play all by himself and loves for Bryant to laugh. He is saying "dada and momma"; mostly dada......and yes he said dadda first.....that little stinker. He is pulling up all over the place and keeping me busy making sure he doesn't get into anything. I love this age when they are exploring everything they can get their hands on and hoping that it will taste good too!!! HA HA.

I hope that you all had a great Christmas and enjoy your lives in 2008!

Nothing New; Just Missing You

On November 5th Chris left for a trip to Germany and Dubai. He will finally be home tomorrow afternoon around 4 or 5 o'clock. Everyday Bryant asks to see Daddy and most days wakes up from his nap saying,"Daddy where are you?" We do get to talk to him everyday and Bryant likes to tell him all about his day. It always seems to be tough on Bryant when Chris leaves, he gets a little, lets say, rowdy. He gets in trouble more than usually and gets more aggressive then normal. And all that rowdiness makes it hard on me. I never realized how hard it is to say "No, don't do that" about 100 times a day. I get aggravated, tired, sad, and down right mad at least 1 time a day when having to repeat the same quote so often. It would be so much easier to attach a tape player to his belt and have it say the same thing at least every 15 minutes. :)

Then there are the moments you wouldn't mind repeating. Like tonight, Bryant was watching TV while I was up in Lukas' room feeding him and putting him to bed. Bryant yells up stairs, "Hey Mommy, I wuv you ever, ever ok." For no reason he decided to tell me he loves me forever and ever. I teared up and said, "Mommy loves you too, baby!" Then he came to the bottom of the stairs and said, "Hey Mommy", I said, "What baby?"

Bryant said, "Just checkin on you."

I often call his name when I can't see him just to hear his voice and know that he is ok. He decided to do the same for me. What a sweet boy.

I wanted to thank Papa and Mimi Burns for taking us in for a few days while Chris was out of town. They are always so wonderful to us and I am so thankful to have the GREATEST IN LAWS in the world. In the picture above Bryant and Papa had been shrimping. Bryant loved it. Then he enjoyed the fruits of his labor and he and I ate all the shrimp.

For all of you who have asked about and prayed for my arthritis....Thanks! I am feeling really well.

Just a Little POOH

Winnie-the-Pooh that is.

It was a great Halloween. Bryant had the choice to be either a cowboy or Winnie-the-Pooh. He was the cutest Pooh. Bryant and Lukas' cousins: Lindsey, Dillon, and Whit came over for the evening and traveled the neighborhood with us. We put Whit and Bryant in the wagon and carted them through the whole neighborhood. Lukas stayed awake until we walked into the door of the house and he fell asleep on his Aunt Lisa's shoulder. He was a cute little bear. He wore the same outfit that Bryant wore his first Halloween.

The other pictures I took earlier in the afternoon on Halloween. The boys and I just went outside and I snapped about 50 pictures of them playing in the leaves and Lukas eating dirt. It was a GREAT DAY!

Over the past few weeks so much has happened to me. I was thinking that I should save that for another post, but since I'm here I'll tell you all about it......at least a condensed version.

A few weeks ago I developed what I thought was a virus. I never really felt bad except for 1 day, but I had it for 7 days. At the end of the 7 days I began to have joint swelling at various joints throughout my body. I attributed it to swinging on a rope swing at a party for Chris' work, but as the symptoms persisted and became worse I saw a Dr. that I used to work for. He diagnosed me with "Reactive arthritis". I've been in the hospital system for about 10 years now and have never heard of this. Basically, my body had an inflammatory response the the BACTERIA I had in my stomach. It was not a virus at all. The bacteria caused an inflammatory response in my gut and my joints responded in kind. Let's just say I have a whole new respect for those who suffer with arthritis. The hardest hit have been my ankles and my knees though this has traveled almost every joint in my body except my right shoulder and my hips. The chance still exists that this could go anywhere even my back, my eyes and my kidneys as this could last anywhere from 3 months to 12 months. I have taken a round of steroids which has helped ease the pain. Night-time is the hardest as well as the mornings.

All that said.......there is nothing like a little health problem to remind you that life is precious. Even in the midst of my little arthritis issue parents have lost children, people have found out they've had cancer, had a kidney stone, etc. For a few days I would say I felt depressed at the prospect that his could last for such a long time. But, after some time to refocus my vision, I realized what I've always known; that the Lord knows exactly what he's doing. Don't get me wrong, don't think for one minute that I didn't ask the Lord to heal me, fix me, HEAR me.......but what I really need is for Him to SUSTAIN me. Our pastor preached a sermon once on "BUT IF NOT". I doubt I'll ever forget it. Not because it was something incredibly profound, but because it accurately describes what we do when we profess our faith in Jesus. Let me see if I can explain.......I believe that the Lord CAN heal me, BUT IF he does NOT, I will still believe he loves me and is in control. I know the Lord can protect my children, BUT IF he does NOT, I will still believe he knows what is best for them and for me. It is in the "BUT IF NOTS" that we find out what our faith is made of. We will either get mad at God or choose to trust him.....OR maybe you do both. You get mad even though you still trust him. So if arthritis is my challenge today and tomorrow or for 12 months then that is 12 months that I am reminded constantly that my life is only sustained by grace. I could loose it tomorrow. I will believe everyday that the Lord can heal me, BUT IF NOT..............he saved my life and I'll deal with the arthritis.

Lukas 6 months old

Lukas turned 6 months old on the 23rd and it seemed to sneak up on me. I had been telling everyone that at 6 months old I was going to be done breast feeding Lukas. Well it seems he caught wind of my evil plan and decided he was not going to take a bottle. So, for the foreseeable future I will continue to be a milk factory.

UP side: Breastfeeding is convenient and cheap

DOWN side: I really want my body back. If you count pregnancy my body has not been my own for 15 months. Wow I hate that I even counted.....I just got a little more depressed :)

Lukas is rolling all over the place and chewing on anything that comes within his reach. My favorite thing he does now is shake his head back and forth. (As if he is saying no, no, no). He giggles and smiles at everybody, but there is a catch: I have to be within eyesight. I am afraid he's a momma's boy. On the past 3 Sunday's that I have been to church he has only made it in the nursery about 20 minutes before I have been summoned for a screaming child. I also tried to take him to a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) outing and he didn't do any better there.

So he won't take a bottle and he doesn't like me to leave his sight that equals .......little to no alone time for mommie. Oh well, guess this is what I get for saying that Lukas will be a momma's boy since Bryant is such a daddy's boy.

Bryant is doing really well at preschool. In fact he stood in the doorway on Monday and held Miss Angela's hand instead of coming to me. He was having too much fun dancing and sing "Romp Ump a Chomp". ( A song from Dorthy the Dinosaur on the Wiggles show). He is learning his manners really well. I love to hear him say "Tanks Mommie" for even the smallest of task ....like helping him put on his shoes. He is also pottie training which is such an adventure. In the last 4 days I have probably only had to change 1 poo poo diaper. He hasn't quite figured out how to decided when he needs to pee pee. But, I won't complain. I'd rather change one of his peepee diapers than a poo poo anyday. I am sure the pee pee thing will come and I've decided that I will not stress about it. He is doing fine figuring things out on his own.